School is just around the corner and i don't quiet no how to process this fact in my head. Summer is almost gone. What did i do? Wasn't i so lazy that i at the end didnt done anything special or amazing. But i dont't think it was a total waster. Its the 2nd summer i had with my boyfriend and so i lived new things, new emotions, new darks, new lights. I saw some movies, had a lot of coffes with different kinds of people. I dreamed a lot too. Wonderfull little heavens of dreams and chaotic soul-eating nightmares.

But the feeling of tiredness is always there. The feeling of everything is so complicated for me. It's the same, almost always the same everyday.

I dont hate school. I like meeting randoms people that i'll know just for 4 months, i love learning stuff that interest me, i love the feelingg that im part of this social group- students.

But for me its all insecurities. It's a war inside my brain, everyfucking test or essay to write ends in tears. Because im so scared of not being good enough. So scared.

Everytime.