I watch some of the opening ceremony of the summer games- i couldn't stop crying. I was like oh its allergies! How can i explain to them how sad i am right now. So sad that tears comes out at any given time, like...the opening ceremony! My head hurts, i just want to hide under my bed or even better, in it.

Going out today was painful, lifting my toothbrush was painful. Soon i'll be back at school and working at some random part-time job and it will be painful. So how can i make myself feel things less painfully? Because i swear sometimes- even though it sounds out-of-thid-world-silly, This life: IT'S TOO HARD, too bright, too dark, too gray, too rough, too slow, too quick, too cold, too loud, too complicated, too retarded, too doubleside, too mean, too nice, too everything.

Not enough money, too fat, too stupid, not artistic, not fucking trilanguale, not gay enough, too straight, too helpless, etc etc etc etc etc etc.

List: 5 things i like

• Sylvia Plath's private journals (depression! hate her mother! wants to fuck around like men! impeccable talent!)
• Tim Gunn in Project Runaway (DESIGNERZZ, how adorable is he? i want to hug him and pet him and make him my favorite uncle)
• V-necks on men (epic!)
• Oz's final season (EPICCC!!!)
• Vogue Paris ( worth the 11$ spent each month on it)