http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080628205430.htm

« Homosexual behaviour is largely shaped by genetics and random environmental factors, according to findings from the world's largest study of twins.»

...

«"This study puts cold water on any concerns that we are looking for a single 'gay gene' or a single environmental variable which could be used to 'select out' homosexuality - the factors which influence sexual orientation are complex. And we are not simply talking about homosexuality here - heterosexual behaviour is also influenced by a mixture of genetic and environmental
factors.»

...

«Rahman explains: "Overall, genetics accounted for around 35 per cent of the differences between men in homosexual behaviour and other individual-specific environmental factors (that is, not societal attitudes, family or parenting which are shared by twins) accounted for around 64 per cent. In other words, men become gay or straight because of different developmental pathways, not just one pathway." For women, genetics explained roughly 18 per cent of the variation in same-sex behaviour, non-shared environment roughly 64 per cent and
shared factors, or the family environment, explained 16 per cent. The
study shows that genetic influences are important but modest, and that non-shared environmental factors, which may include factors operating during foetal development, dominate. Importantly, heredity had roughly the same influence as shared environmental factors in women, whereas the latter had no impact on sexual behaviour in men.»

So interesting. That's basically what i wanted to say in the end of my essay on homosexuality. I don't think we'll ever find the exact explanation because in reality there's none. We can't study everything abiut feelings and emotions and traumas and what makes us tick or not. Our options in sex are never really settled. Something can happen and next thing you know, you feel an attraction that you thought you would never feel before.

And never underestimate the power of homophobia in our sexuality.

ok Courtney is clearly back on drugs so usually it may take another 3 years for her to get clean again. I don't mind, it's ok- she's Courtney Love. But what happened to the album that everybody spoke about like it was her greastes work yet? 'How dirty girls get clean' i think was the title. It's like the record company only wants her to put out a record when she's clean. Thats bullocks, i dont think she'll ever get completly clean. They should let her release her album, even if she's back to be a total crackhead. I don't care. America's Sweetheart was delicious. And i want more.

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On a side note. It was bday a couple days ago. And my boyfriend made it all pretty for me. He's magic. Oh people, you have no idea. He's just beyond amazing. And i love him so and i dont feel like im worth enough for him, and well that drives me crazyyyy.

For my collection

Dexter's season 2!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 yes yes yes so so so so good.

So im going to be poor for a few weeks, even maybe a month or 2
so so so so what? you know. fuck it. fuck fuck fuck all of it.

im going to chill and relax and not spent a lot of money and maybe for once, i'll have a real summer vacation.

<3

I'm desperate

I'm glorious

I'm going down with a vengeance

Hold on to me, hold on tight

And let's just see who gets out alive

Just do it baby'

Cause no one cares

There's not an net

There's no one there

what the fuck have i done to myself?

stfu haterss! he is pretty <3

I saw randomly one of my way back ex-bf and we chat quickly cos i had to go and go away from him, not that it was bad or awkward but just because i dislike meeting people from my past. Any kind of my past. They are ghost people to me and it just doesnt make sense that ghost people shows up in my reality. So anyways, he told me that it was consistent in my personality. And that was the thing that was great about me. So im still crazy? Or way excited? Or depressed? Or nice? WHAT IS CONSISTENT ABOUT ME?

So i've been thinking about this 'consistent' comment. And i still cant tell if it's a good thing to be that or, or a bad thing. Oh and i wonder if it's true.

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Anyways, about shopping. I kinda hate it. People, please let me save some money for the London trip. Please, dont call me, dont ask me to go out, i seriously need to stay in and be a recluse for awhile so i can save some fucking CASH DAMNIT. ARGHHH

i want you to go under my skin and fix my heart

crack my skull and build a better one

i want you to make me shiny, pure and brand new again
but i must say that you are so sublime

and with you, i live, i live again.