I really really need and want to see Body Worlds 2. Gunther Von Hagens should have a conversation with me. It's rare that i get excited this much about wanting to see something.

It's good to learn, it's odd but i feel like im just a empty cup that needs to be filled. Because i have not much inside myself. eh

-

I love Courtney Love. So much that this picture

doesn't make me less adore her.

...

Steven Patrick Morrissey

Coutney Love

David Bowie

Audrey Hepburn

Sylvia Plath

Karl Lagerfeld

...

might be the future names of my future cats.

x

My name is Audrey
and i love Alexandre

Fin

i wont move, i wont talk, i wont look
cuddle me, cuddle me
dont think twice about it
just pet me like a cat in needs
im scared and im hurting
put me in bed like a child
hold me tight under the covers
let the nightmares stop in my head

i feel it all i feel it all

I want your silent parts

The parts the birds love

I know there's such a place

I had my back turned

You didn't realize

I'm lonely

You lack the things

To which I relate

But I see no harm

Come wait, come wait, come wait

It's over.

One...two...three...do me

When I'm feeling lazy, it's probably because,

I'm saving all my energy to pick up when you move into my airspace

You move into my airspace

And something's coming over me,

I see you in the doorway

I can't control the part of me that swells up when you move into my airspace

You move into my airspace

But each night, I bury my love around you...

You're linked to my innocence

This is a concept

This is a bracelet

This isn't no intervention

This isn't you yet

What you thought was such a conquest

You're hair is so pretty and red

Baby, baby you're really the best...

Can I get there this way?

I think so

We should take a trip now to see new places

I'm sick of this town

I see my face has changed.

Say hello, say hello, to the angels.

Little girl, little girl

You should close your eyes

That blue is getting me high

And making me low

That blue is getting me high

And making me low

Im really really tired.

I just found out that my mom is not immortal. And it's a shock. And it's sad. And i feel very empty. And i cried, seeing her on her hospital bed, with needles in her arms, machines around her. And i saw me, in the future, going through the same thing. But alone, cos i wont have a husband with me, i won't have my children around me. I saw myself on the hospital bed, getting old and alone.

And there's no way i can go through this. And then i was walking alone at eleven in the dark, and then i think for the very first time, i knew, i knew...i knew that one day, someday, it's going to be my choice, how i want to end it. And for the very first time, i completly faced the idea of 'suicide'. And it's ok. And it's ok. Im going to be ok.

Being a girl is so weird. So complex. So silly.

Hi,
my boyfriend
got me this for my birthday.
He's crazy so he's giving me a present every monday.
I LOVE HIM
Not because of the presents. But i think because he really cares about my well-being.
He's a good guy. A real one.
I like to put my hand in his and feel our fingers locking.
Anyways,
he got me ajkahjshshajhsgsa LAIN.

L A I N !!!!!!!! <33334353

HOW PERFECT IS HE? He is, he is <3

My inner reality is maybe my best possession. It's constantly challenged. The assuption of the world outside...

It's a curse in some aspects because it makes everything more complicated. It can be almost difficult to witness the simplicity of some people, their easyness with how things are. It's difficult because in some ways, i despite these people, i cannot understand them. And i don't like to feel like i despite someone, or be annoyed just because she or he doesn't read a lot or whatever.

But mostly this inner reality is my safety net.

Being loved is very humbling. Loving him seems almost natural for me, but being loved by him is like...what he loves me? But why? He thinks about finding me the best bday gifts...like he take the time to think about it. You know what i mean? It's really weird and amazing.

Right now i feel loved. And all i want to do is curl up in my bed just hold and protect this feeling that i have in my heart.

and im feeling thankfull and shy and confused and happy but most of the time im in awe of him.

Audrey

Ignorance is rather blissfull sometimes.