Im so in love.

he doesn't see that

im not worth his love for me

But he's still there

and im still amazed

by him

im ok right now

ps: bonus picture of Baby Z and Daddy Brad

School is just around the corner and i don't quiet no how to process this fact in my head. Summer is almost gone. What did i do? Wasn't i so lazy that i at the end didnt done anything special or amazing. But i dont't think it was a total waster. Its the 2nd summer i had with my boyfriend and so i lived new things, new emotions, new darks, new lights. I saw some movies, had a lot of coffes with different kinds of people. I dreamed a lot too. Wonderfull little heavens of dreams and chaotic soul-eating nightmares.

But the feeling of tiredness is always there. The feeling of everything is so complicated for me. It's the same, almost always the same everyday.

I dont hate school. I like meeting randoms people that i'll know just for 4 months, i love learning stuff that interest me, i love the feelingg that im part of this social group- students.

But for me its all insecurities. It's a war inside my brain, everyfucking test or essay to write ends in tears. Because im so scared of not being good enough. So scared.

Everytime.

Happy birthday Madonna! queen of music

and if she was a guy

she'd be president of all worlds.

almost words. . .
-almost thoughts-decisions
like lightmake dull conversation
unless there is a hint of hope in your eyes
and a sparkle
of what if and an actual not-make-yourself-believe something happening about it.

internet
internet
internet
internet
my
internet
my my all my
internet
is
back !!!!

i must now go on with my useless bloggins about useless little cat-thoughts...!