I feel almost violated when a man flirts with me. Hard to explain but it's the word for how i feel. It makes me feel useless and stupid. It makes me want to hide for days. I don't feel pretty and in some ways im totally ok with my unprettyness. I feel safe. Im not ok with it when im alone, thats where my mind rambles, where i feel insecure, where i wish i could be beautiful as -it seems easier.

Overall things are okay.

I made a conscious decision to try to make things easier for me. I think it's in my character to hurt myself. And it's such a lonely thing to feel 'hurt'. So i buy a lot of comic books and books and i see friends i like and i smell my boyfriend's chest and then i think well things are not that bad.