Flicker

flicker

flicker

flickering

There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and i want one, but there isn't one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes. And you are a rag doll, inverted, imperfect. and yet you are all that you have, and so you must be enough. there is no other way.

There is an incredible loss. there is a profound grief. All the time, i feel like im greiving something, someone, life. My own death.I hope... there is, in the end, after a long time and more work than you ever thought possible, a time when it gets easier. For me, for my friends, the ones i love, even for everybody else, the ones who are so silent that we never hear their breaths.