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I just finished reading "We need to talk aout Kevin" by Lionel Shriver. Anyone who likes Mo Hayder or even Alice Sebold is going to get horny over this book. In horny; i mean more like its such a violent book in a really calm psy-way that it stimulates you brain till you just need to close the book and catch your breathe.

I dont fucking know what i'll read next but if i can find another book as great as this one, i might just overdose on greatness and die. Im that serious.

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Anyways, i personally want to thank Paris Hilton, Joe Francis, Nicole Richie and the guy who snorts coke on himself because they all gave me the biggest LOLZ tonight. Paris Hilton...by forgetting to pay 220$ for a storage space- we get to know directly from private videos and diary entries that: she's bulimic, a drug addict, a alcholic, that you only have to ask her TO SHOW SOME TITS AND BEAVER and she'll do it for you. She has herpes, had multiple abortions. She has one of the most manly voice i ever heard and finally well her parents are very proud of her and she's really just a really sweet young lady.

I added a picture of Adam Sandler and his daughter because it balance well my being after so much Paris stuff.

I saw one of the most disturbing thing online today. I can't even saywhat it is, because it's so ugly and against nature and wrong and just evil. Im almost disgust with myself and my need to always click on something 'not in the norme'. Plus i just had my psychology class and all the informations are bumping into my skulls. Humanity is a really really weird thing.

And although some things are fascinating. Some stuff are disgusting. Disgusting is not even the right word. And it's depressing.

Im all right. All right.

I've been tired for a long time
wishing i could sleep
sleep the perfect coma
but it's when im with you
that i don't want to go back
i'd do it all the same just
to be sure you're still there
i'd go back in hell
just to make sure you're safe
im tired tired tired
i hate it all
just a few things i like
but i really really really don't want to go back
back to sleep

miss lucifer
miss lucifer
keep your guns
out of my sight
i pity the ones
who desire you

I don't know exactly why but i think David Beckham is really really not hot- as not pretty, not gorgeous, not goodlooking, not charming . And the fact that he's going to play for an american team means that hes going to be in everyfuckingmagazines that i buy. And it's seriously depressing to me. I prefer Britney's vagina pictures to David Beckham.

David Beckham makes my world...sadder.

Anyways.

"It might have been what he said" by Eden Collinsworth is...such a hard-intelligent-brainy book. It's so good i can't stand it. Im almost at the end and im stressing out because im alsmot at the end of sandman's The dolls house...and i need new books. This and David Beckham coming to the usa and making a mix cd...it's driving me CRRRAZZZY.

Another mind-googling-depressing thing. THE WHOLE AMERICAN VERSION OF 'MY SASSY GIRL". IT'S LOOKS SO BAD....ARGHHHHHHHH.

But I love Maggie and Peter. Maggie Gyllenhaal should be my bestfriend. My roomate for life. We could have cats...she would cuddle me while i sob about my loneliness because im undateble and paranoid and just not cool!!!!

"The night is only black around the stars." - Eden Collinsworth (What a cool name btw).

I thought and stop thinking and layed on my bed and try to escape reality. Then i opened my eyes, i can't do this anymore. Not everytime i don't feel or sense things are not okay. The cruel thing with feeling "depressed" is that you want to stay still and stop, but everything else around you goes on. They don't wait for you. No one will. So today, for a blink moment, i felt like i needed to take responsabilities. I hope to be a saner more healthy kind of girl in the next few weeks then months. It comes back to this anyways: do i let myself rooth and dry and maybe half die or do i try to make the first steps even though its way harder than just go boom.

God this is so fucking lame-cheesy-horsecum...but hum yeah.

ok
ok
okay

So the movie/documentary 'What the bleep do we know' kinda confused / freaked / pissed me off ....me. Confused and pissed off: because it's "combines documentary interviews and a fictional narrative to posit a connection between science and spirituality based upon the teachings of JZ Knight/Ramtha, of whom the three directors are devotees."

And freaked out because some of it i've always kinda beleived in it. Like chemicals and reaction and fears and addictions. The problem with this is that it only makes me go : " why continue?" Why go on with a relationship that feeds me lights of gladness and joy and excitation and most importantly love."

Why love someone, anyone. When it's going to die eventually.

It's different with animals like cats and dogs. Since their life depends of us, theyre dependant of us.

I don't want to talk talk talk about it but im fighting against this 'way of thinking' almost everyday. It's kinda depressing really.

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Anyways im reading 5 books and theyre all sooo sooo deliciously good. And mostly im doing quite good.

And:
A_HULK dit :
i love you

IM DATING A HULK.

quotes/sandman

"I am anti-life, the beast of judgment. Ia m the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, Gods, Worlds...of everything."

"sss. And what will you be then Dreamlord? "

" I am hope"

(...)

"What power would HELL have if those here imprisoned were Not able to DREAM of HEVEN?."

quotes/sandman

"I am anti-life, the beast of judgment. Ia m the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, Gods, Worlds...of everything."

"sss. And what will you be then Dreamlord? "

" I am hope"

(...)

"What power would HELL have if those here imprisoned were Not able to DREAM of HEVEN?."