Im out of celexa. It's been 4 days. I almost want to wait more just to see how i turn out without chemicals. Or maybe i don't. I feel my head spin a little. That's all. I felt almost pretty today. Then a few minutes ago. I was looking at surveys and read this question: 'describe your ideal significant other'. I felt it hit and cried a few tears. It's just horrible to feel like the most horrible thing. I wish i was 'pretty-ugly' as the french way. Sofia Coppola, Charlotte Gainsbourgh etc. Girls with something really off about their physique. But with intellect or charm or mystery or a 'je ne sais quoi' aura. The type of girl that no boy looks at, but only a very few, rare type of boy. The type who doesn't look twice at the Carmen Electra or Pamela Anderson (circa 1990s) or whatever.
But at the same time its all so vague. Id be a lesbian i would fuck Sofia and Charlotte but not Pamela. So maybe im biased. And also all this physique thing is such a fucking blur to me. I wish i could get over it and just shut the fuck up about it. hummmmm Hard Candy is on dvd ? I think? I want to get it. I need to get virgin cds too. And i found my boots. Its ridiculous but fuck finally.
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12. If your relationship was a type of music, what type would it be?

That's like the best interesting relationship question ever.

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WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

> How does people come up with that stuff? Who decided this?

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If My Life Were A Movie.. These Would Be The Songs:
Opening Credits:
Waking Up:
Average Day: The world at large- Modest Mouse
Best Friend: Hand in glove- The smiths
Falling in Love: Le grand secret- Indochine
Being in Love: Chariot rises- Lizzie West
Breakup:
Heartbreak: i remember- Damien Rice
Reconciliation: Milk-Garbage
Fight with Friend: there's no I in team- Taking back Sunday
Fight at Home: No surprises- Radiohead
Mental Breakdown: Climbing up the walls- Radiohead
Driving: American Life- Madonna
Deep Thought:
Life's Okay:
Party:
Regret: Desert Garden- Vast
Falling Asleep:
Transitional:
Happy Dance Sequence:
Long Night Alone:
Epic Triumph:
Death:
Closing Credits:

I need to think about these. And fill this up.